We as a church are going through the bible book of Matthew in a series called "iWitness". We started with the Sermon on the Mount based on Jesus' first teaching and our first teaching series at "WestMOUNT"and are continuing on.
One strength God's give both Roger and I, is "maximizer". It brings us great delight to build into people's lives especially those God is bringing us intentionally at WestMOUNT. We want to see the gifts they have and help them understand how to use them in their fullness. Many don't even know what theirs are?? This is an ever present tragic reality in the life of many Christians. How it must grieve our Father's heart. Roger and I have chosen, rather than being one of those stats, to step out of complacency and lead in this... and oh the sheer delight that floods my soul when we start to see these sons and daughters of Almighty God find their true identity. !!!!!! :)
Even this Sunday at church I was able to bring a fresh story forward in this regard while bridging generations. One of our Seniors was able to give and eye witness account of a 4 hour ministry session we had had with 12 young adults, him and I, in a restaurant just last week. SO SO SO powerful... not going to go into right now... but ask any of the 12 there if God was ever present... in the middle of the restaurant?!
Ask the hostess and waiter what they thought. :) The funniest thing was Katie(hostess) greeted me by name as Roger and I will go there at times for a glass of wine, but now she was seeing all these wonderful young people and right away said, "Oh you guys are from the church at the theatre?" :)
Katie and Johnny (our waiter) were eye witnesses to who??? To the HOLY Spirit ... Jesus through us at work. Even Johnny left really perplexed, saying we were such a nice table. But as the Senior who was with us (which was orchastrated by God and not planned in my human effort) gave this testimony, it cut to my soul.
He shared in front of this group, that was happy to get to know them and mutually be so warmly received, openly some of his life experiences being honest. Then he said this, "I have been a Christian for most of my life, but for the first time ever I truly feel like I am a DISCIPLE."
Oh guys.. what a line that was to me. Disciple. You know Christian is only mentioned 3 times in the bible and yet "disciple" is peppered throughout the word. Interesting. Disciple is the truest form I believe of laying down one's life in love to follow at all costs and without reservation, Jesus Christ. This takes time to develop and teach, to live through obedience and display especially in a culture where we have all we need and are pretty pridefully complacent in general.
BUT this is indeed the desire of the heart of Roger and I as we obey His call to build HIS church that indeed we would develop disciples. That the world would be able to look at us and be eye witnesses themselves to Christ in and through us. NOW that's powerful! It's God's way in which He brings Himself glory.
I say that because part of building disciples is to be in the word. HIS WORD. This is where it begins. And so part of our diligence as a church body will be to commit to reading Matthew over and over while we teach and grow together in this book of the bible; learning to not only read but then listen and apply as God uses it to speak to us.
Soooo..... (long intro.... I'm getting there..lol) I'm listening to Matthew in the car on CD, pondering his words, to the high call associated with Jesus' "Come follow me". I come to a stop light and right before me witness for the first time ever, the actual changing of the numbers of the price on the Petro gas sign as someone pushed a button and the numbers rolled like a slot machine. I sat in wonder just thinking how convenient that is now a days. No one with ladders, numbers, signs, etc... but rather a push of the button. hmmmm... then the Spirit within me had a deeper lesson to teach me.
Literally in that moment He gave me this thought. Kid you not. I pulled over and actually voice recorded the thought that was flowing through me for it wasn't my own.
Here it is:
"We don't even change the numbers on the gas station sign anymore. Our life is dedicated around convenience. Everything we do is to try to make life easier. Think about the convenience Facebook gives to relationships; ( my mind went to phones to contacts, email, Internet, music; convenience with computers from paying bills, research, web, photos, movies, convenience in travel, food, drive thrus, etc.)
Convenience doesn't equal authenticity. Therefore why would it be any different with what we've made of Christianity? People want a Christianity that's convenient. This is the deceitful work of the enemy. Christ hates our convenience. Christ reminds us that Love is a sacrifice; the giving of one's life. How is that convenient?? How I must come out of this culture, even in the definition of Christianity as it stands today. As a result, this redefines how I look at the word 'inconvenience'. Hmmm.... perhaps being 'inconvenient' is really the essence of the language of love that I need to reflect on. Perhaps inconvenient actually turns me towards 'sacrifice' thus defining love."
And in that moment He teaches me. I absorb it and simply must confess to Him I've fallen way off that mark, but want to recenter with His view. That my own hands would mirror his ever loving nail pierced hands. That His hands would become mine as He takes my hands in His and helps me to reach and love with them, through inconvenience and sacrifice.
I am His disciple in the making, always learning but proudly zealous of the one I follow: MY JESUS CHRIST... MY LORD... MY Saviour.... my sweet lover of my soul. Oh that even through the touch of my hands, others would feel HIS.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
A New Year - ME or Mercy?
His mercies are new to us, every morning.
Thank goodness for that. There's not a day that goes by in which I don't say or do something I shouldn't... or miss an opportunity to love and care as I ought. And yet God loves us so much in our little frail state that He declares fresh mercy every day.
If that's daily, I can only imagine, despite my lofty "resolves and desires to accomplish much" how much of His mercy that I shall require of God in our New Year.
It's strange... as despite how ambitious and inspiring I love to be in one hand, in the other I find myself holding desperately the hand of our God which is full of mercy and grace. I realize I am nothing without Him.
As I sat with Him before the sun rose this morning... I realized we make a big fuss about the NEW YEAR... when time doesn't really even exist with God. (2 Peter 3:8) I do however think it's a good time for each of us to stop and reflect on the year gone by and let God paint a vision for us for this New Year.
My heart wants to walk in the sweet spot of His will. To do and be and accomplish what He desires for me. I want to be faithful to Him; with what He's entrusted me. I have this holy fear that is increasingly welling up in me that I will have to answer to Him one day. I find the closer I get to God the more I sense how unworthy and sinful I am. How He is so worthy of all we are and have and I am but a little inch worm.... I say that with joy though... just knowing HE IS SO MUCH more. I cling to the Christ that lives and moves within me... the one I am called to be ONE with. For He is the only thing I have of worth, that is the truth. Christ in me. The beauty of it, I am finding of late, is I can tell when I am full of His Spirit and when I am acting in more selfish, fleshly ways... I want the fleshly Carrie to die more and more, so that Christ would so evidently live in me, all would see Him and either be drawn or repelled based on what God is doing in their lives. I want 99% of me to be Christ and 1% flesh based on this shell I can't redeem immortal until I enter His presence. I want to aim to lay my mirror down to reflect in His fullness, the reflection of Himself in clarity when He looks upon me.
Maybe this is too deep and I've lost some of you? Maybe my jargon is a little "too Christianese" so let me try it a different way... how about I share this story from this morning?
I was sitting reading, meditating in Deuteronomy. (Great book that reflects years gone by and a new commission that reminds us of God's desires for His people as they move into the Promised Land.) I had so many thoughts as He was teaching... ahhhh... I just LOVE His word. I get excited when He reveals deep truths to me... there's nothing like it. Ask Roger, ask my kids how excited I get! lol
Deut 8:2 Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to HUMBLE you and TEST you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands.
Moses is reflecting with the Israelites showcasing one of a few reasons they travelled in the desert for 40 years. So God could humble and test them. ??? Wow.....
Wow.... I thought of my own life and situations and circumstances that are so hard at times. My deserts, certain areas that have hopelessness associated with them... and yet the Lord is reminding me with comfort, that rather than feeling as if I'd done something to deserve this perhaps He is stripping some things away in my heart to test me. Wow... wow... He wants my obedience in the hard times. Even when injustice is done to me He wants me to obey, to forgive, to turn the other cheek. He's probing deeply into the heart of Carrie. (...sigh.....)
I then went and listened to Deuteronomy on CD. And then my heart started to gush... and just cry literally to Him that I want to offer Him all I am and have... I want to be more selfless and to please Him at all times, even when He would take me through the desert. I don't want to be distracted or even compare with Christian complacency... I want to press in to know His heart, to please Him... to bring a smile on God's face.... wow... I have the opportunity to do this right now based on my faith expressing itself through actions of love, through the power of His Spirit. We talked for a while... I responded with requests that I've been committing from his word to my heart's memory. I found such a sense of His presence in and through me. I love it... it becomes almost like a love bubble but then I came to the grocery store and knew I needed to go in. I don't want to lose this sense I feel of Him but rather guard it and savour it for as long as I can.
I get in the store to pick up a few things and there is ONE till open.... ONE. In a huge store and I am 15th in line. I realized I didn't have my phone on me to make the best of this long wait and yet amazingly enough I held to the peace and patience within and I asked if He could open another checkout? Nothing for another 5 min.... my test. ;) Still patient. I know surprising...
Then another opens ... YES.... she takes the 2nd in line and with her follows another 7 people. It's chaos for a few minutes but I walk to that other line. I follow a biker dude in front of me quickly and we pass a slower lady. I hear her gently say behind me to the others, "I should've waited in the other line."
I looked at her and knew I passed her and said, "You can go in front of me."
She said it was OK, but I insisted and she did. Then the biker dude realized I had done this and so he did as well. :) Now we had a big line behind us but I still had patience. Then an older couple was behind me when the wife dropped her pie in a box. She had a cane so I helped her pick it up.
The pie was now cracked. I offered to go get her another but she said it was OK, they were just going to go home and eat it. I looked at her husband and he didn't seem so pleased with her. He was somewhat frustrated but trying to be patient with her. I could see it in his eyes and said instantly, "I'll go get you another one."
I literally had to run now as I was in the front of the line and the pies were in the back corner. The whole line watched me sprint off. I made it back as fast as I could... and set the pie down. The husband beamed ear to ear, but the elderly lady took of her mitt, and hunched over grabbed me and hugged me. Oh my goodness.. I could've melted. Truly. She was so graciously appreciative, saying she was struggling so much these days. Then the biker dude stayed at the end of the till and looked at me in bewilderment. Truly. He was somewhat hardened at the beginning but as he reservedly smiled at me, I knew he too was witnessing Christ. As I grabbed my bags to leave I looked at the lady and said, "You have a wonderful year this year OK?"
And she declared right there ... "Oh dear... I am not going to forget you all year."
And I left and sat in my car and gentle tears of joy welled up in my eyes.
"LORD, I know it's YOU ... in me... I feel you...I love you.... you take every situation, even the hard ones and you gently love and leave this fragrance of Christ all around. Oh help me Lord... help me to more consciously defer to Christ in me rather than taking things into my own fleshly hands. Please be my strength in the desert times, reminding me that you will never leave me nor forsake me. I want to understand more of this mystery of the gospel, which is indeed Christ in me.
I love you Lord. I love you. Nothing satisfies my soul like when I sense you in all your fullness within me. (I have goosebumps even now as I write this.)
Lord, I want to not just be full of faith, but faithFUL to you above all. To please you and to have you trust me more and more with the secret things of God. To have you laugh at me because you can't get over how excited I get about you!!! :) Oh the wonder... the wonder of you....."
*****
Do you KNOW Him? Really KNOW Him. Maybe it's the start of a New Year of truly KNOWING Him? I will write soon to update you more on the church which we marvel at constantly with all God has been doing there but for now I wanted to keep my priority for you as a reader. That you indeed would be encouraged to press in and KNOW the One that loves you more than you can ever imagine. I dare you.... ;)
Lamentations 3:22-23
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness.
If that's daily, I can only imagine, despite my lofty "resolves and desires to accomplish much" how much of His mercy that I shall require of God in our New Year.
It's strange... as despite how ambitious and inspiring I love to be in one hand, in the other I find myself holding desperately the hand of our God which is full of mercy and grace. I realize I am nothing without Him.
As I sat with Him before the sun rose this morning... I realized we make a big fuss about the NEW YEAR... when time doesn't really even exist with God. (2 Peter 3:8) I do however think it's a good time for each of us to stop and reflect on the year gone by and let God paint a vision for us for this New Year.
My heart wants to walk in the sweet spot of His will. To do and be and accomplish what He desires for me. I want to be faithful to Him; with what He's entrusted me. I have this holy fear that is increasingly welling up in me that I will have to answer to Him one day. I find the closer I get to God the more I sense how unworthy and sinful I am. How He is so worthy of all we are and have and I am but a little inch worm.... I say that with joy though... just knowing HE IS SO MUCH more. I cling to the Christ that lives and moves within me... the one I am called to be ONE with. For He is the only thing I have of worth, that is the truth. Christ in me. The beauty of it, I am finding of late, is I can tell when I am full of His Spirit and when I am acting in more selfish, fleshly ways... I want the fleshly Carrie to die more and more, so that Christ would so evidently live in me, all would see Him and either be drawn or repelled based on what God is doing in their lives. I want 99% of me to be Christ and 1% flesh based on this shell I can't redeem immortal until I enter His presence. I want to aim to lay my mirror down to reflect in His fullness, the reflection of Himself in clarity when He looks upon me.
Maybe this is too deep and I've lost some of you? Maybe my jargon is a little "too Christianese" so let me try it a different way... how about I share this story from this morning?
I was sitting reading, meditating in Deuteronomy. (Great book that reflects years gone by and a new commission that reminds us of God's desires for His people as they move into the Promised Land.) I had so many thoughts as He was teaching... ahhhh... I just LOVE His word. I get excited when He reveals deep truths to me... there's nothing like it. Ask Roger, ask my kids how excited I get! lol
Deut 8:2 Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to HUMBLE you and TEST you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep His commands.
Moses is reflecting with the Israelites showcasing one of a few reasons they travelled in the desert for 40 years. So God could humble and test them. ??? Wow.....
Wow.... I thought of my own life and situations and circumstances that are so hard at times. My deserts, certain areas that have hopelessness associated with them... and yet the Lord is reminding me with comfort, that rather than feeling as if I'd done something to deserve this perhaps He is stripping some things away in my heart to test me. Wow... wow... He wants my obedience in the hard times. Even when injustice is done to me He wants me to obey, to forgive, to turn the other cheek. He's probing deeply into the heart of Carrie. (...sigh.....)
I then went and listened to Deuteronomy on CD. And then my heart started to gush... and just cry literally to Him that I want to offer Him all I am and have... I want to be more selfless and to please Him at all times, even when He would take me through the desert. I don't want to be distracted or even compare with Christian complacency... I want to press in to know His heart, to please Him... to bring a smile on God's face.... wow... I have the opportunity to do this right now based on my faith expressing itself through actions of love, through the power of His Spirit. We talked for a while... I responded with requests that I've been committing from his word to my heart's memory. I found such a sense of His presence in and through me. I love it... it becomes almost like a love bubble but then I came to the grocery store and knew I needed to go in. I don't want to lose this sense I feel of Him but rather guard it and savour it for as long as I can.
I get in the store to pick up a few things and there is ONE till open.... ONE. In a huge store and I am 15th in line. I realized I didn't have my phone on me to make the best of this long wait and yet amazingly enough I held to the peace and patience within and I asked if He could open another checkout? Nothing for another 5 min.... my test. ;) Still patient. I know surprising...
Then another opens ... YES.... she takes the 2nd in line and with her follows another 7 people. It's chaos for a few minutes but I walk to that other line. I follow a biker dude in front of me quickly and we pass a slower lady. I hear her gently say behind me to the others, "I should've waited in the other line."
I looked at her and knew I passed her and said, "You can go in front of me."
She said it was OK, but I insisted and she did. Then the biker dude realized I had done this and so he did as well. :) Now we had a big line behind us but I still had patience. Then an older couple was behind me when the wife dropped her pie in a box. She had a cane so I helped her pick it up.
The pie was now cracked. I offered to go get her another but she said it was OK, they were just going to go home and eat it. I looked at her husband and he didn't seem so pleased with her. He was somewhat frustrated but trying to be patient with her. I could see it in his eyes and said instantly, "I'll go get you another one."
I literally had to run now as I was in the front of the line and the pies were in the back corner. The whole line watched me sprint off. I made it back as fast as I could... and set the pie down. The husband beamed ear to ear, but the elderly lady took of her mitt, and hunched over grabbed me and hugged me. Oh my goodness.. I could've melted. Truly. She was so graciously appreciative, saying she was struggling so much these days. Then the biker dude stayed at the end of the till and looked at me in bewilderment. Truly. He was somewhat hardened at the beginning but as he reservedly smiled at me, I knew he too was witnessing Christ. As I grabbed my bags to leave I looked at the lady and said, "You have a wonderful year this year OK?"
And she declared right there ... "Oh dear... I am not going to forget you all year."
And I left and sat in my car and gentle tears of joy welled up in my eyes.
"LORD, I know it's YOU ... in me... I feel you...I love you.... you take every situation, even the hard ones and you gently love and leave this fragrance of Christ all around. Oh help me Lord... help me to more consciously defer to Christ in me rather than taking things into my own fleshly hands. Please be my strength in the desert times, reminding me that you will never leave me nor forsake me. I want to understand more of this mystery of the gospel, which is indeed Christ in me.
I love you Lord. I love you. Nothing satisfies my soul like when I sense you in all your fullness within me. (I have goosebumps even now as I write this.)
Lord, I want to not just be full of faith, but faithFUL to you above all. To please you and to have you trust me more and more with the secret things of God. To have you laugh at me because you can't get over how excited I get about you!!! :) Oh the wonder... the wonder of you....."
*****
Do you KNOW Him? Really KNOW Him. Maybe it's the start of a New Year of truly KNOWING Him? I will write soon to update you more on the church which we marvel at constantly with all God has been doing there but for now I wanted to keep my priority for you as a reader. That you indeed would be encouraged to press in and KNOW the One that loves you more than you can ever imagine. I dare you.... ;)
Philippians 3:8-9
8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of KNOWing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.
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