Many of you know that recently we moved. Boxing day was literally just that…
full of boxes. That season of rest
between Christmas and New Years had for us a call to move to West Kelowna. (Roger and I have been called to plant
and pastor a church in West Kelowna).
I had forgotten all that goes into a move especially moving
5 people and a dog. Not even so
much the physical logistics, which is crazy in itself, but the spiritual and
emotional energy of literally being transplanted.
As you can imagine my heart and mind has been FULL… my
discernment at an all time overload of intensity… It’s been quite a journey.
You see this move is entirely different. This move is out of obedience to a call
to BE with the people that God desires to plant His church amongst. To GO to them rather than try to flag
them into our storefront churches.
This move in my heart has caused me to have fresh eyes. For I am seeing things more differently
than I ever have in my life. I am
not moving to a house, but to a mission field. When I think of how comfortable and easy life could continue
to be in our place in Gallaghers I realize that wow… have I lost the call to
the gospel?? Of sharing the good news, of BEING the good news to so many lost
around us? Was I becoming complacent
in fitting in even in Christian circles??
The transition has been a harder one for me in that regard;
the hard core truth cutting deep through my heart. But it’s a conviction of Him that has me listening. For I feel less settled and at home
than I ever have in my life?? And
for a while I wrestled with this, wondering when I will feel settled?? And yet my Lord in His loving and
tender ways again has brought revelation to me as I pour my heart out to Him.
You see Boxing day after we moved in and slept amongst the
chaos… I awoke to find people sleeping everywhere. In any random room in which there was something comfortable
I found those I love so peacefully sleeping. I took my bible and tip toed everywhere just wanting what I
desperately have become addicted too.. my quiet conversations with my Lord and
seeking His face and direction above all things. I sighed in my own frustration as I just wondered “Where
Lord?? Where can I find you…where
can WE be together… help me.”
Tired myself, in my own desperation I don’t shy away from
seeking Him in these times, but quite the opposite. I desperately NEED Him. I know I won’t make it without Him through this… and so He
finds me.
As I stumble between floors and boxes I stop right there in
the middle of the stairs. No
boxes, but a lower stair in which I can place my bible on the stair above me
and there I sit at 6am in the morning…
And can I tell you… He met me powerfully. Powerfully. I feel His presence on me even now as I write this. I actually asked him a question and He
answered me directly from His word.
I shall hold on to it forever.
After that time I went outside to pray and run in the dark
in our new community. The whole
place with fresh snow and the peacefulness of Christmas time, with Christmas
lights and decorations glowing, I made new fresh tracks in the snow as I combed
these new roads around me. And as
I continued my conversation with the Lord I looked back at our little lit
community from a far and His revelation again hit me strong.
This community is much like Bethlehem in that they don’t
even know it but Christ has been born here in our new home. In the midst of chaos and boxes, much
like a manager here in the midst was Christ being born through our family. Our family has a call to witness and
love on those around us. And to
think so many, as in the time of Christ’s birth had no idea of what was going
on. J
So even this morning, again, despite feeling so not at home
I find His sweet comfort in encouraging me that this is right. ???
“Carrie, you are mine.
My ambassador on assignment, representing Almighty God. I am sending you to a place of
temporary things. Remember
this. All things that you see are
temporary. Don’t feel at home
there. Your home is here. In righteousness, in eternity with
me. Work hard while you are there
for all are given one chance. The
less you have there, the less roots you have in this world, the more your focus
shall be on me and the more I shall be able use you to accomplish great things
for my name’s sake. Remember…. I
once said, ‘Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests, but I, the
Son of Man have no where to lay my head’.
Take comfort my love, that you are feeling more like I felt when I was
there on earth. You are indeed
sharing in the fellowship of my sufferings and understandings. This is powerful and will serve you
well as you delight yourself in me above all things.”
I feel His spirit so strong on me even now as I write this…
almost to the point of tears. I
could sense Him prompting me to look up that verse He reminded me of with the
foxes and to look at the context around it. I did just that in both Matthew and Luke.
So interesting… for what is it positioned around…”Follow
me”. Our call. This is part of my call… our call. To let go of things in the world and
embrace our Lord and His things of eternity. Things that matter to Him …oh that they would matter to me!!
There is one I want to please in life more than anything. One that I know you and I will each see
face to face. Bare and alone we
will stand before Him. I LONG
absolutely long to see His eyes smile as His arms reach to embrace me. I long to sit at His table and be
recognized by HIM above all this world has to offer. (tears are filling my eyes….) I so long… so long to see Him,
my heart aches so desperately….(tears are rolling down my face)….
Oh sweet Father, and beloved Jesus.. fill me with your
Spirit and take delight in your child that I would be faithful to you out of a
love and devotion that goes beyond mere words.
You are God.
Holy and Awesome. There is
none.. none… I shall compare you to.
Stationed in West Kelowna,
Your servant,
c
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